A little more action, please.

My meds are kicking in so I'll keep this short.  I've got a lot to think about.  These "daymares."  Coming to terms with my past, in retrospect, was much easier.  The past is done, it is absolute, it's not changing.  It's the future that I'm afraid of.  So many possible scenarios with so many possible outcomes, ugh.  And it's not something that I can predict the result of.  For example, if you're in a plane that's crashing down, the result is you die.  Morbid, I know.  But absolute.  This...I don't know.  And I can't know, I will never know until the present catches up with the future.  I know that I can't change anything, and that fretting about it only brings me anxiety and fear.  So how do I make my subconscious shut up?

There are other things on my mind too but I need to sleep.  Gotta get up early tomorrow to take care of a shit ton of crap to do before my trip.  Holy shit my room...I don't even know where to start.  How can I pack clothes when I can't find the right ones because they're ALL OVER MY FUCKING FLOOR!?  Fuck.  Fuck fuck.  Oh well, no sense in worrying about it now, right?  Ugh.  Goodnight friends.