Singin' ohhhhh, the sun must set to rise

Something big is happening...something exciting that is also producing a ton of anxiety for me...I can't post about it, not in public, just yet.  Things could be happening for me.  I'll post about it as soon as I can!  Otherwise just ask me :)

I'm really itchy, I don't know why.

I've been trying to post on here for like 4 days, but once I open the screen, my head just fills with static buzzing and the elevator version of "Girl from Ipanema."  And now it's in your head, you're welcome.
And even now, all I'm doing is spewing forth nonsense.  Let's try again...

Maybe a recap of recent events?  Let's see...New year's eve was really great.  Worked until 6, then took 1 1/2 hours to get up to Ali's in Lincoln Park.  We took the bus to the Hancock center and ate at the Cheesecake Factory.  It was my first time in the city for nye, so that was cool.  We had a lot of fun waiting for our table, too.  We're nuts.

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After dinner, we headed back to Ali's place, did some excellent drunk-idiot-people-watching, and rang in the new year with Welch's sparkling juice :)  I got extremely sick overnight (bad cold) and though I hadn't had anything to drink, I woke up feeling like I had a raging hangover.  NO fun. I can thank my coworker for giving me her sick....TWICE IN 2 MONTHS.  Bleehhhh.  So in the morning we went for breakfast, I saw a girl from college, and I went home where I laid in bed being a sick baby for 2 days.  Living the dream, my friends.

I have to tell you all, and myself, how proud I am of myself.  I didn't just survive new years, I LIVED, I had FUN!  I wasn't a slave to my own memories, flashbacks or nightmares.  I kicked PTSD ass.  I felt my heart/lungs go into a little panic around 11:45, but I squashed that.  Last year, to cope, I took a bunch of valium and slept for 18 hours.  Nowadays, I don't even need benzos for anxiety.  I don't actually even have an emergency anxiety med anymore...if I need one, I take benadryl and DBT myself down.  I'm fucking awesome.  

I've recently gotten back in touch with an old friend.  I'm really excited to see her and hopefully we're both in a better place (I know I am!) to hold our friendship together.  Last time was a disaster...we were both having our own crises and were completely unavailable to support one another, and that led to catastrophic fall-out. I'm sure she'd agree.

I got a new computer!  I did find some awesome stuff when I was using my parents's computer though...assignments and reports from high school, as well as the scripts I wrote for variety show, and an awesome jackpot of high school pictures.  I was so excited!  This is one of my favorites.  Super sad my parents made me sell my drums :(  Also, I really wish I could see whose picture is on the dartboard...I think it might be Ruben Studdard...?

This one's a goodie too...me and Laura in Little Shop of Horrors.  CLEARLY you can tell I'm playing a black woman.  Ugh I looked so much thinner.  BLAH.

Everything else is pretty much the same.  Work is still going great, relationships are holding on, all that fun stuff.  Vicky's bridal shower is next month, I'm very excited!  I'm really glad I get to get a new dress.....NOT so glad that I have to do the whole trying-on bit...but I'll get through it, I think.

Good night!