Having a shitty shitty day, and I've only been awake for a half hour. My weekends suck. I think it's all hitting me now...I'm done with PHP in a week even though I'm not ready. That's the biggest thing. I'm really, REALLY not ready. FUCK YOU insurance. I've gone and made a good friend feel guilty because of my own paranoid thinking. My mom is still leaving snide comments on my facebook.
And now Michelle canceled game night, so I have nothing to look forward to or keep me occupied. Suicidal ideations run rampant in idle minds. I can't stop crying. I fucking hate my life and I am fucking SICK of being depressed and feeling like my heart is being torn to shreds. Permanent sleep sounds amazing.
I am not sure of the feelings that you are going through, but I know that life is difficult and sometimes there seems to be no happiness. THERE IS!!!! Your focus the last couple months has been all on you and treating your illness. If I had to obsess on me and my issues 24/7 I would be a hot mess! When PHP ends, you need to find a new objective. Make following your makeup dream a focus and research all the possibilities, start a savings plan for it, and focus so you can be the best at it! Maybe that's not your dream, but find something to focus on to bring a little joy into your day! Good Luck sweetie, and I am always here for you :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Vic :)
ReplyDelete