Credit Where Credit is Due

I have to thank whatever higher power, or fate, or coincidence, or whatever brought certain people into my life. I spent all day in crying spells and hiding in my bed, as if my blankets could ward off the evil thoughts. Then I dragged myself out, decided to go with the opposite-to-emotion skill set, and met with a new, but rapidly becoming best, friend. 2 hours later, I felt so much better. She knows just what to say and just how to react to what I have to say. I am blessed to have her in my life. We then left to meet up with the usual suspects. Watched a couple terrible movies and just dicked around like usual. And it was just what I needed. I need these little reminders that I DO have things/people to live for, and some people DO actually care about me and my well being. It's sad that that's a difficult concept for me to grasp. After years of being convinced that anyone who was nice to me must have had an ulterior motive, I'm finally starting to feel like people just might actually like me. For me. A few weeks ago, before my most recent hospitalization, I ended up (drunkenly) spilling all my feelings to a friend, and of course started crying. When I said something along the lines of Oh no my makeup is running, he said "Who cares if your makeup runs? You'll still be beautiful." I haven't felt so touched in...ever? He is such an amazing person and I often question why I am so fortunate to know him. My mom always says God works in mysterious ways. Fact is, before any diagnoses or hospitalizations, all my friends were terrible, backstabbers, dramatic bitches, etc. And now all of my closest friends are people I have met through NAMI. I wouldn't know these amazing people if life hadn't put me through the ringer. Through the bad comes some level of good, right?
Lastly, I have to say how unbelievably grateful I am for my mom. Never once have I questioned her love for me, and every day she gives me another reason to thank God I got so lucky. I am very fortunate to have someone whose love is equal to that of 2 parents.

So there's my gratitude for the moment. I only hope life will be kind to these people. We've all been through enough...

God bless and good night.