It's about time for my arrival UH. what.

WOW my blog has been viewed over 4050 times!  People, get lives! No please don't my self-esteem depends on you....omgjklolroflcopter.

I'm trying to figure out if I really want to find people to date (hence the online dating), if I'm READY to date, and of course if I'm just setting myself up for some kind of trauma reenactment because anniversary date is coming up.  UGH EMOTIONS. EXPLAIN YOURSELVES.
Also I totes found a friend from junior high/high school on the website.  Awk.

You know what?  People don't understand the real, hard-hitting issues that are in my brain constantly.  Most of the time I keep these perplexing thoughts to myself.  MOST of the time.  So in case you're wondering what plagues my restless mind...Why do I always have to poop once I lay down for bed?  Why?? Cause I know when I get up in the morning I won't have to/won't be able to.  Where does it all go?  Does God think it's funny that I have to go AFTER I've taken my meds and won't be able to stumble my way up the stairs to the bathroom?
I say "up" the stairs because I am still sleeping in my basement.  It's clean and smells good down here and since my dad got this little job thingy it doesn't smell like man cave/sweat lodge anymore.  Also my room is ridiculously overwhelming to even look at and it makes me want to jump out a fucking window.  I need to move back upstairs though...I keep forgetting that I'm sleeping in a daybed so I have bruises from hitting/kicking the bars while I sleep.  And also a big bump on my forehead from doing the same.  Nightmares+metal-barred-bed=way to go, Boyer.

No wonder my mom gave me the prayer card for St. Jude so many years ago.  "He's the patron saint for hopeless causes."  Haha, oh mom.  OH BARB. Babar.  Lady.

My therapist is a twi-hard.  Team Edward all the way, yeah buddy?

Now I'm just trying to think of all the random shit on my mind, because my mind truly is a strange and ridiculous place.

I have this apple cutter...and it's square shaped.  Every time I slice an apple I have to cut off the sides so that it's shaped like a square.  Who invented this?  Who thought this was a good idea?  More importantly, who thought it was a good idea to buy this?  NOT ME.  APPLES ARE NOT SQUARE.

Let's think of one more ridiculous thing to finish this bad boy up.  Ummmm...me and Ali are both baby crazy.  And I was going to edit that last sentence but instead thought I'd leave it and tell you all just how upset I am that I wrote "me and Ali."  That is not proper grammar mechanics.  RED PENCIL NAZI.  I love babies.  I can't wait til Jim and Vicky have kids ahhhhhhh Aunt Julie best aunt everrrrrrr.....

Also I want to change my last name argh.  I either need to get married asap or become a Broadway star overnight so I can use an equity name.  Basically we just drop the last name.  Julie O'Carroll.  LOVE IT.

I think that about wraps up the insanity going on in my head right now.  I mean, not really, but there's a little taste for you.  It's about time I posted something other than misery on here.

Good night, friends and loved ones.  And therapist.